I am puke
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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