i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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