remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
