Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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