let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
