is your mom at the bar?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
We had to coat check the pizza.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
