I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
