My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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