I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
