I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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