i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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