I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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