okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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