I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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