i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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