So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Randomize
