she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
as a side note pls kill me
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
