Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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