you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Randomize
