just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
