He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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