I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
