I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
