question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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