trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
