gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize