i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
