What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Randomize
