what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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