He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
