I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
