counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
