My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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