Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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