I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
