That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
