Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
