I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
it's like heaven, but drunker
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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