just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
