just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
