she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
birth control should be required to get into college
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
