last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
