maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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