maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
He better not be in your backpack
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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