The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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