I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
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