I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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