do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
