i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
