just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Randomize
