I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
