Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
