remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize