I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
