I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
The Olympian is in my bed
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
