Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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