So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
