And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
