I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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