I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
