I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
