Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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