You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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