Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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