Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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