Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
