i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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