I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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